Friday, August 28, 2009

The Married Life

"Well that was your mother... and that was your father...
before you were born dude, when life was great..."

"So where's that young wife of yours, son? She didn't come down to dinner."

"Kettie went to bed early. She was really tired from work today."

"From work, eh? And here I thought you were the one who wore her out."


"With as much as you two are all over each other, I'd figure I'd be a grandmother by now."


"You sure you ain't firing blanks? Or maybe plowing a barren field? Your father occasionally had a little problem with..."

"Ahhh! I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you!"

"Ma tried to give me the 'why don't I have grandkids' talk again last night."

She trying to light a fire under you?

"Please, don't mention 'fire'."

Life in the Bagley household is rolling along smoothly for everyone. Seriously, these guys are almost downright boring.

Kettie's enjoying work a lot more, now that she's in the journalism career. She spends her hours at work working on her writing or kissing up to her coworkers. Of course, she still has her outside of work tasks to pursue. She needs interviews and articles to progress in her career. The main way to get the information is, of course, to harass your friends and neighbors into giving you the information which you then twist into an article.

Or you can dig through your neighbor's trash to get all the juicy stuff they won't talk to you about. Guess which one Kettie prefers?

Don, being right down the road from the Bagley estate, is the prime target for the trash rustling. Kettie is absolutely paranoid that Don is going to catch her.

Her furious scrounging did eventually pay off for her though.

Yeah, and I'm going to have to use the bonus I make on the article on extra strength Abraxo cleanser just to get the trash stench out of my pores

Oh come now, it can't be that bad.


What smells like a weasel with dysentery?

That would be me.


After a good long rinse off, Kettie sat down to write her article and... um... WTF is that on your desktop?

It's the cover for the latest book in the Cleaner of Hearts series.

Cleaner of Hearts: Bad Elvis Impersonators?

No, it's Cleaner of Hearts: The Scullery Singer. It's about a dishwasher in Las Simgas.

Whatever. Just write your article.

Don didn't like my article.

You wrote it using personal information you learned by scavenging his trash. Did you ever think he might be throwing the stuff out for a reason? Like because he didn't want it flaunted to the public?

But some of this was just too good to keep a secret.

And this is why we have gossip rags. Because Simmerica likes a juicy scandal more than it likes a warm fuzzy feel good story.

Oh, and you can see from the Indie Stone pop up there that Rhoda has finally found herself a man.

In fact, when Ma Bagley stopped by the next day to check up on her daughter, she found that Rhoda and Maximus were already married. I can't wait to see when/if these two have kids

Hi Don! Aw, I'd love to tell you who provided me that info, but I've gotta protect my sources.

You're the source! Who else is there to protect?

Yeah, yeah. Anonymity of the press and all that. I thought some of the information my source gave me sounded fishy, but they pay me to take the facts I'm given and write about them. At least I left out the part about the Japanese school girl uniform and the Alf costume.... you mean there were pictures to go with that?! It's probably good that my source didn't find them then.

Why do I think Kettie will be back in his trash later tonight?

About the time Kettie got off the phone with The Don, Sherman arrived home from a long day of directing traffic. Considering he was as stanky as his wife had been earlier, he headed straight for the bathroom. Kettie wandered down to keep him company.

I did not. I came downstairs to brush my teeth.


"Hey hon..."

Yes dear?

"Could you hand me a towel?" *pause* "Um... that's a washcloth."

Is there a problem?

"It's a bit... small... don't you think?"

I don't know... can you prove to me you need bigger? *waggle brow*

I'm sure you can all guess where that conversation led. *snicker*

Excuse me, do we need to have that privacy talk again?

No, we don't. Because you don't have any privacy.

But what about poor Sherman?

He doesn't seem to mind.

But this lack of privacy is killing the mood.

You sure it's not your flirting technique?

Hey now, that's one of those hand held massager thingies.

It is not! It's a frickin' jellyfish! You're flirting using invertebrate sea life now!


Besides, your claims that the lack of privacy is killing the mood don't seem every well founded.


Now if all that rumpling of the bedsheets could only be accompanied by a lullaby or two.

Would you guys lay off with the baby chimes? Between you and Ma Bagley, you're giving Sherman performance anxiety.

Yeah, he does seem a little grumpy about something. I think it's because he lost a game of chess to himself though.

Is that possible?

From Sherman's expression, apparently.

Since Sherman was in no mood to head for bed yet, I sent him off downtown to manage the dead. I'd gotten the death notice for one of Ma Bagley's friends (Flat Broke I think) and wanted to get his gravestone placed out in the cemetery.

After Flat was properly interred, Sheman then went over and gave his dad a good mourning. *sigh* Sherman's starting to disappoint me. Where's the coward who freaks out and faints at the drop of a hat?

The next day dawned about as exciting as all the ones before it. Ma Bagley continued to hang around, boozin' it up and living the wild life of a cat burglar.

"I'm just waiting on those grandkids. And maybe an attentive young man looking for a rich cougar to look after him."

Sherman got promoted again, and this time the promotion came with his own car. He rushed right home to tell his wife.

And from there things devolved into the same thing that happens every night around the Bagley estate. Ma Bagley hit the bottle, and Kettie and Sherman hit on each other.

Of course, things were a little different this time around. Heh. About time you guys started spinning up "have a baby" wants. I was beginning to wonder.

Of course, wanting to have a baby and actually conceiving are two totally different things

And it would probably go a lot easier if someone would quit disrupting and spying on us.

Like that's stopped you two from getting busy before.

Yeah, well, maybe there's also a reason why we haven't fell pregnant before too.

In that case, Ma was probably right about the shooting blanks part.


I don't think she was right about that though. Do you?



"Boy honey, we've sure been having hot dogs a lot recently. Was there a sale on wieners at the grocery or something?"

No, I've just been having a craving for them lately.

"I see."

Oh, and the next time you're at the store, could you pick me up some pickles and ice cream? I've been craving those too.

*choke* "gaaak"

Are you okay? You look a bit distressed.

Yeah, I'm not feeling the greatest.

Well you are pregnant. You won't feel on top of the world every day during your pregnancy.

Whatever. I'm thinking that last sardine and summer sausage sandwich did me in. I'm feeling all bloaty.

Nope, nope. I don't think that's it. *chuckle*

Oh, I'd better tell Sherman.

I think he already suspects.

Shermy, do you remember when we talked about the pitter patter of little feet...

"...and how we complained that we couldn't get a dog because EA was stupid and didn't give us pets?"

Er... well... we will be getting something sorta like a pet.

Your child is not a pet.

Well, I think Sherman will be a great father. He was really excited when I 'officially' told him I was pregnant.

Oh, I'm sure Sheman will be a great dad.

And as her pregnancy progresses, Kettie got to discover that being pregnant was not all fun and games and exotic foods and belly rubs. *snicker*

I suppose that could be payback for her keeping Sherman occupied so long in the gym he did that to himself.

As Kettie was taking a nice long bath after her little 'accident', I got this interesting little Indie Stone pop up. I guess since Ruby couldn't have Sherman, she went for the next available guy.

Oooo, it's a girl. If I have a little boy, they can get married!

Er... but Don's daughter is an... um... Broke *wrinkles nose*

You promised! Don's kids and mine!

We'll see... Don may have more kids... as may you.

"I have the strangest feeling I'm being watched."

As Kettie's due date drew closer, I notice Ma wandering around the kitchen with this thought bubble. At first I thought she was just anxiously awaiting the birth of her grandchild...

But then I got got this Indie Stone pop up announcing that Rhoda and Maximus had a son.

You know, if you guys hadn't taken your sweet time at getting around to getting pregnant, you wouldn't be taking second place in the grandkid race.

Kettie continued to work on her writing, submitting her work via the web. Between writing articles for the local paper, I caught her working on more trashy "Cleaner of Hearts" fan fiction *chuckle*

Heather Crosby dropped by to visit one afternoon, and Sherman cornered her to question her for his latest report.

"Oh, I know everyone claims my husband and I don't get along, but it's just not true. I'll admit, occasionally he gets on my nerves and I want nothing more than to take a ball bat upside his head, but honestly, whose spouse doesn't get to them from time to time?"

"And then she told me she wants to take a baseball bat to her husband's head. Can you imagine..."

Hmmm... I can think of better things to do rather than using a baseball bat...

Y'know, I think I know where this is leading...

Yup, as I suspected. I swear, everything devolves to woohoo with these two. *chuckle* They'd just better be careful or all that action is going to trigger labor for Kettie.

Oh my goodness, Don decided to make an honest woman out of Ruby... that or the rest of the Brokes held a shotgun wedding.

Remember what I said about all the woohoo triggering labor? Yeah, well, some of us were right, although it seems everyone but Kettie was aware of it. Ma returned from prowling her rounds as a cat burglar and rushed right up to panic. Even Sherman roused from his sound sleep before Kettie could even stop spitting out Zzzzs.

Mmmmph... what'up with all the screaming and yelling?

You might want to get up now. I think things that require your attention are starting to happen.

Things? What things?

Ooof! Oh! Those things!

Heh... I don't know if that face is from the labor, or from impaling herself in the end table. I seriously thought she was glitched and stuck in the table for a few.

But after a couple moments she extricated herself and she and Sherman made a beeline out the door for the hospital.

Now, Sherman has his own patrol car now. Do they take the patrol car? No. They call a taxi to drive them to the hospital... and knowing taxis, it probably took the long route there in order to run up the fare.

"You know, you would think an emergency room would have some outdoor lighting. To help you find the place. It's... ah... terribly dark out here."

Is there a problem hon?

"Um... ah... no... er... not really."

Good. Now get out of the way. You're blocking the door and I have no desire to have this child out here on the flagstones.

"Yes dear."

Hmm... this seems a good place to wrap things up for this chapter.

What, you wanted to find out about Kettie and Sherman's baby? Hmm... well... maybe next chapter.

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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I Do's and Don'ts

"Well my mama told me don't lose you, 'cause the best luck I had was you.
And I know... one thing... that I love you..."

Last time we visited our illustrious heroine in Riverview, she had gotten lucky, changed jobs, gone steady with her sweetie, and gotten an invite to move in with him. He had a present for her when she arrived: a nice diamond ring. So what's she up to now? Let's find out.

Hmm...*peers* Cleaner of Hearts: The Buffer's Bargain?



Stop reading over my shoulder!

I'm just curious.

I'm working on my writing skills.

By writing smut novel fan fiction?

Are you harassing me for a reason?

Just getting a start on the next chapter.

Well, get your start going and leave me alone.

Oh very well... when our illustrious novelist heroine got moved in, she discovered that her intended wasn't the only resident of the place.

I already knew that!

And of course the two other residents throw a bit of a monkey wrench into things.

Ya think.

First is Ma Bagley. Ma's life bar was completely filled at 92 days. Now , I realize that means she could die later today, or two weeks from now (I've had one sim make it to 120 days; I was ready to kill him just to get rid of him). However, I didn't want to risk Ma buying the farm (well, another farm, since she already lives on one) and harshing Kettie and Sherman's engagement buzz. Since I'm a cheaty little wench, I have a "buyable life fruit mod" installed, along with another mod that makes life fruit more on par with the elixir from TS2. So I had Ma pop a life fruit, which gave her a couple extra days

Kettie's other new roommate is Rhoda Bagley, Sherman's older sister. Now, I was planning on moving Rhoda out to her own place so she could start her own family (plus it frees up space for Sherman and Kettie) The only problem was that Rhoda was only a day or so away from hitting elderhood. That and that hair style and makeup job do very little to make her seem terribly appealing to the opposite sex.

So I had Rhoda pop a few life fruit and then go in for a make over. I think she looks a lot better. Of course, she seems to realize her days are numbered. I'm just hoping she can find a man one I send her out on her own.

I have no problems with Ma sticking around. She's a character, she gets along well with Kettie, and, well, if she's still alive when the two do manage to reproduce it's always good to have an extra hand around the house. *chuckle*

Of course, in the week or so that the Bagley family was computer controlled, Ma's been a little busy.

"Ma, did you hear? I'm engaged. I asked Kettie to marry me last night."

"That's nice son. If you're planning on getting married, you'll need that stiff drink. Now you'll have to excuse me. I've got a hot man waiting for me at the garden gate."

That's right. Ma struck up a romantic relationship with Henry McGlum, one of the three elder bachelors. They're kind of cute together.

Psst. Kettie! Couldn't you have put some clothes on for dinner?

Pshaw. Why? Sherman's seen me in less.

Yes but you're also dining with your future mother-in-law and her 'gentleman friend'.

Yah yah... whatever.

I'd thought about moving Henry in for Ma, but sadly as he was leaving that night, I got the pop up that he didn't have long to live. Sure enough, he passed away the next day. Ma cried constantly over the next couple days.

Sherman's lifetime want (or whatever they're called in TS3) is to be a forensic specialist, which is in the law enforcement/police career path. So I sent him over to the PC to look for a new job...

...and he was promptly distracted away from it (luckily after he had applied for the job).

Excuse me, do you mind? A little privacy here?

What, were you planning on doing him in the easy chair or something?

Hardly, but knowing you, you'd follow us upstairs... spy on us during our intimate times... that sorta thing.

Moi? Never. Just don't stay up to late kiddos. You both have to work in the morning.

And indeed, the "get work notice" came way too early for Kettie. *snicker*

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

Heh. Just don't wear yourself out too much at work. Make some new friends or something.

Great. What do you have planned now?

Oh... nothing...

Just a little wedding party. Since one of the two of them gets home at 2 and the other at 3, it's going to be 5 pm at the earlier the wedding can start. Hopefully it won't get too dark for Sherman. Kettie hasn't had a chance to discover that lovely little 5th trait of Sherman's... cowardice *evil grin*

Sherman's obviously happy with his change of profession, now that he's actually working towards his LTW. However, that formal outfit is just not going to cut it. I think it's time to run him through the wardrobe and see if we can't find something a little better to wear.

Mmmm... much nicer. The tux suits him, no? *grin*

You're looking quite dashing there Sherman. Now, be a dear and ring up your wedding guests

Your bride to be is in the other room having an attack of the butterflies

I am not. I'm quite fine. Excited, but fine.

Oh, I guess those are wedding bells there and not butterflies or moths or something.

Sheesh. The most important day of my life and you're harassing me.

Buck up little camper...

Your guests are arriving for the ceremony.

I feel gypped. No one brought snacks to the wedding. I suppose it could be because I bought the buffet table. Usually for weddings and birthday parties, my guests inundate me with food. I don't have to cook for days afterwards. Ah well, I suppose no wedding snacks means less stinky food to clean out of the fridge in a couple days.

For those curious as to who's who. The gentleman in the black jacket and tan slacks is George Dean (yes, The George Dean). He's Sherman's boss. The gal in the lilac maternity dress is their neighbor Ginny McDermott, and in front of her is Kettie's old coworker from the Bistro, Mags Newbie.

Can't have a wedding without an open bar, ya know? *grin*

"Hey man, nice place."

"Thanks Billy. Drink?"

"Don't mind if I do. You might want a couple yourself."

"Why does everyone keep telling me that?"

And Don comes jogging in late to the party, sporting a baby blue tux.

He then proceeded to jam up the front porch and stand there grinning like an idiot. That's Odin Crosby, another of Kettie's old Bistro coworkers, waiting for him to move. On the porch itself, Heather Crosby is leering at The Don, while Sherman's ex Ruby apparently still has romance on her mind.

Ma Bagley wandered around the place, pausing every so often to sob over the loss of Henry. I had her go to the cemetery and manage the dead, so she could put his tombstone about. He's catercorner from Sherman's dad Sam Bagely. Ma gave both Sam and Henry a good mourning before she headed home.

Behind Ma, in his dress camos, is Hunter Cottoneye.

For it being a wedding, the guests were not on their best behaviour.

June Shallow snuck up and scared the groom spitless.

And the Don tried to grope the bride.

Oh he did not!

He was thinking about it.

But he didn't, so don't say he did. Although I might have liked it if he had.

Sherman probably wouldn't have, and he was watching the two of you like a hawk.

Well it's not like Sherman didn't have some person trying to make a play for him.

True. His ex Ruby tried to flirt him up.

Thought she could one up me with the feathers too. Oh she's cultured. She flirts with quill pents, rather than feather dusters. Hmmph.

Yes, but Sherman wasn't having any part of it. You didn't see the big red negative signs.

See, he loves me. Not her, me.

Like you doubted him?


Oh... we might want to get things underway here. Sherman's starting to get bored.

And it's starting to get dark out.

What's that have to do with anything?

Oh nothing... nothing. But just a few more shots of the guests.

*sigh* Oh all right.

The Crosbys -- Odin and Heather -- were nice and polite guests... even if Heather was caught ogling Don several times.

Rhoda, however, was peeved the whole time. No doubt she realized that shortly after the ceremony was over, she was getting the boot off the lot.

Ruby (Broke) spent her time alternating between staring wistfully at Sherman and looking peeved as hell at the happy couple.

And with all the other wedding I've thrown, I never noticed that the guests threw rice. I don't know if it's because I usually throw inside weddings or if the light was hitting the rice just right or what. I just never noticed it before. Of course, I never figured Hunter for the rice throwing type.

I love how Don is getting a little verklempt back there.

Are you done babbling about my guests? Can we say our vows and exchange our rings now?

All right, all right. Impatient much?

It is my wedding day, dammit. I want to get married.

"Yes ma'am?"

Huh, you agree with me?

Actually I think that was Sherman.

You might want to pay attention to your vows.

Oh geez. You've got me so worked up with your paying attention to everyone but me that I've lost my place. Is this where I say I Do?

No, this is where Sherman says I do and you put his ring on.

Now you can say "I do."

*draws a deep breath*

Do. Not. Squee.

And now Riverview, please welcome Mr. and Mrs. Bagley into your midst.

I love how most of the guys are excited or all emotional over the ceremony, while most of the women either look annoyed or look like they couldn't care less. *chuckle*

See what I mean. Ruby, June, and Mags all look bored or annoying.

Who cares about them?


"I love you Mrs. Bagley."

And I love you too, Mr. Bagley.

Do you think you might be interested in a little... mumblemumble...

Oh no. I know what that vase of roses tends to lead to. You can at least wait until you guests have left before you jump each other. Now go mingle.

And see what I mean about the men vs the women. George is all emotional and caught up in the moment. Mags looks bored and June looks peeved. Sheesh people.

Don, while very happy and excited for Kettie, was also very glad that it wasn't he getting married tonight.

"Damn Straight."

Sherman went over to chat with Ruby and he confessed his attraction to Kettie to her. She looks just crushed, doesn't' she? That little dagger is not a cheating an icon but the "enemy" icon. She got that thought bubble quite often when thinking about or talking about Kettie. I don't think she ever spoke directly to her.

Sherman and Ruby actually do get along decently, despite being "exes" After chatting with Ruby for a while, he asked her to dance. Not to be outdone.

Kettie proceeded to get down with Don and his powder blue suit.

Don looks quite nice in his suit.

I think Don could wear anything and you'd think he looks nice.

He'd look nice even wearing nothing at all... Hey, could you arrange that?


As the guests started to leave, Kettie and Sherman sat down to have a bite to eat with Hunter. I'm not sure what sort of 'proposal' Hunter just had for the new couple, but Kettie looks a bit shocked at it.

Oh nonsense. He was just offering just congratulations and commenting that we were the loveliest couple he had seen in a while.

He lives in a bunker back in the woods. What does he know about good looking couples.

Hunter might surprise you. You never know.

Once the reception was over, Kettie did the OMGIMMARRIED! squee over her wedding ring.

I've never had a sim do it, though I've seen plenty of people post about it and include it in their stories. Personally, I think she did it just to get out of cleaning up the dishes.

I did not!

And of course, when the reception was all tidied up, the married couple headed up to the honeymoon suite to do what married couple usually do on their wedding night.

Now, as I tried to mention earlier...


Would you be interested in a little... mumblemumble...

"Actually, I was thinking about a little... whisperwhisper..."

Before I get yelled at, lets give them just a little privacy *grin* We've got some strings to wrap up here in the house anyway.

Ma Bagley is drowning her sorrows at the bar. With as many drinks as she's mixed up, she should be feeling fine for quite a while.

"Yeah, but I might finally get some grandchildren. Sam would be so happy."

That leaves us with Rhoda. Yep, time for big sister to move out.

And she doesn't look to happy about it. I don't know why she's upset. It's not like I'm kicking her to the curb. She's moving into one of Jenba's houses. The Charles to be exact. Hopefully she manages to hook up with someone. I guess we'll see.

So we'll wrap this chapter up here. Still no chimes from the happy couple. Ma Bagley would really like to see a grandchild (she's got the wish locked; she spun it up right after the wedding) and... well... this is a legacy of sorts. They need at least one spawn for heir.

But I suppose that's a matter for a future chapter.

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